Dear Eru, Where The Freak Are We?
by Esteladuial Greenleaf
Summary: The Fellowship is screwing around with Galadriel's mirror until they get transported to somewhere like Middle-earth, but things are a little off..... (and no, it's not our world! jeez.....) please read and review!
1. Tsk, Tsk, They Shouldn't Be Playing Arou...

::screams:: my brother is watching pokemon…."a pidgey with a dream!" Pokemon is evil. I wrote this in school, because school sucks, like this story. ^_^ this is the "result of a phonics game child" ^_^ please read and review!

The Fellowship was playing with Galadriel's mirror one day. They would pour water in, and then pour it out after they saw something. Well, the mirror became quite agitated with  them. As Aragorn was about to pour another pitcherful of water in, there was a whirring noise and fluorescent blue blur.

"Whoa," said Frodo.

"Where are we?" asked Merry, a question that was on everyone's mind.

"I think we haven't been moved anywhere at all," said Aragorn. But that wasn't exactly true. Everything **looked** pretty much the same. Galadriel was walking towards them.

"You see? There's Galadr – dear Eru, what is she **wearing**?" said Aragorn. 

Kinda short so far. *What* exactly will Galadriel look like? Hehehehehe….Please review and I'll post up more!! ^_^ DUN DUN DUN!!!!


	2. The 'Ship Gets a Shocking Surprise

What's upness? IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT ORLIJAH! WITH YOUR "NESS"…..humph…..we really should post that convo until they take it down, no? :) anyway…..yeah, there's more (un)fortunately for you people. ^_^ 

Stuffs I want to tell the reviewers:

Earendil: Here's more of it! I dunno if it'll meet your standards of funny, but it's the best I can think of!

The anonymous person that didn't leave a name…..^_^ : Of course I'm evil! What else did you expect?

Elbereth94: Read and see!

Oriljah: NO!

Elfie88: It was short, but….here's more! 

Europa: ::giggles:: I love exclamation marks too!!!!!!!! Hehe, see? But some people are against them (evil people). As for Pokemon, I'm scared of the show. It's excruciatingly cheesy and happy! CAN'T STAND THE HAPPINESS OF THE CHARACTERS!! ^_^

AloriaMoonbeam:TheLastFae: whoa…..that's awesome! ::goes to pictures it::

please read and review(ness)!

He and everyone else rubbed their eyes, just to make sure. Galadriel had dyed her hair blue, magenta, green, purple - basically every colour in nature (and some not). She had on a tank top and baggy black pants on. Also, what appeared to be a (fake) nose piercing.

"Galadriel?!" said Legolas, alarmed. No Elf that he had ever met in Middle-earth was quite like her. Now even more so.

"Oh, hey 'Ship! Wazzaaaaaaaaaaap?" she said, sticking out her tongue for the full effect. The "`Ship's" reaction? O_O And quite understandable so.

"What's with the look?" aske Frodo.

"What about it?" she said, surveying herself and folding her arms.

"Well…..it's **different**," said Boromir.

"No it isn't! I've had this look for the past three hundred years!" she said. They all gave each other puzzled looks.

"But….just yesterday…..?" said Gimli. He had wanted a couple of strands of her golden hair. But now…..it wasn't as desirable.

"Yesterday? Yesterday, I had on a tube top and a mini-skirt. And a tie. That might have thrown you off. And ya'll don't look much better, yourselves," she said, eying them. They looked down at their own garments and were quite shocked at what they saw.

Jeez…….what is it with me and clothes and short chapters? Sorry to disappoint (?) you, Elbereth94, she wasn't dressed like Britney Spears. Which is good for me, since I would have died before I wrote about Britney (she wants to be a porn star…::shudders::) Yeah, review, ask what they were wearing, and you shall find out! ^_^ this is really short, but longer than the first chapter! You should be (somewhat) happy!! ::some scattered applause is heard, along with boos and some tomatoes become airborne:: uh……..isn't that nice? Well, please review!


	3. Scary Clothes!

Eep. I don't even know if you like this story, because I'm writing all this at once, and dividing them up into chapters. ::some dearly devoted reader has a fit and starts smacking Esteladuial:: ok, that's not nice. IF YOU KEEP SMACKING ME, I'M NOT WRITING ANYMORE!!! ^_^ anyway, please read and review!

Legolas had a cowboy hat, jeans, and a white t-shirt [a/n: the guy with the cowboy hat!!!! ::screams::]. Boromir had on leather. The hobbits had on t-shirts and jeans, except for Frodo, who also had an apron bearing the letters "BJ's" [a/n: "Elijah Wood"]. Their reaction to their own clothes? Ô_Ô

"I like my clothes," said Pippin, plucking at his t-shirt.

"Well, I don't. Leather chafes" said Boromir.

"I only like the hat," said Aragorn. He too had a cowboy hat, leather pants, and a leather jacket on.

"This is quite a bad predicament that I'm in right now," said Gimli. It was quite a surprise that he was that calm, as his outfit was…..too much for words. His hair had been braided into pigtails, and he had on a pink tutu complete with pink ballet slippers with the long shoelaces and fairy wings. He took his ax and started trying to chop stuff up. Halfway through, he realized his ax had been replaced by a wand with a star on top with thin ribbons streaming from it.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" he said. The Fellowship's reaction?" O_O They all suppressed laughs.

"You see?" said Galadriel. She was occupying herself by jumping around on her pogo stick.

"But **why**?!" said Gimli. He had lost his composure and was clearly not pleased.

"Because! You either took every sample of ice cream at Lothlórien Ice Cream and stuck them on an ice cream cone that you brought from home, or you angered Middle-earth Galadriel's mirror!" she said, while bouncing up and down. They gave each other quizzical looks.

"Arwen did it a million times when she was younger, and it never happened to **her**!" said Aragorn.

"She's an Elf," said Galadriel.

"I'm an Elf…" said Legolas.

"Not a special one!"

"I'm special…."

"Not special enough!" Legolas looked rather unhappy (a fan girl with glasses and a tie who escaped security "awwww-ed" from bushes and trees. Security finds them and takes them away, while they scream "NOOOOOOOOOOOO! YOU CAN'T TAKE ME AWAY FROM MY LOVE, MY OWN, MY PRECIOUS!! I WAS MEANT TO BE WITH LEGOLAS!!!").

"Wait, what do you mean "Middle-earth's Galadriel"? Aren't you…? Where are we?" said Aragorn.

"We're in the Lower Eastern Middle-earth," said Galadriel.

"Right."

"Yup. Now, I gotta go get some more hair dye. Lubb, peas, and alpaca fleece!" she said. And with that, she left.

Uh…..yeah. Guess who the girl with the glasses and the tie is? Please read my other story, "Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road???" Lubb, peas, and alpaca fleece is my phrase!!! © Esteladuial Greenleaf. See?!?!? COPYRIGHTED!!!!! YOU CAN'T HAVE IT!!!!!!!! Lord of the Rings is playing in the background, I can hear it…….yay!!!!! and my brother is saying something about "wengwengs" (penguins) and my dad just stopped Lord of the Rings! ::screams:: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! –ahem- anyway, please review!


	4. Eep! It's Elrond!

Hm…..lessee……..well, uh…..yeah. Anyway, my attempt to make conversation with you people has failed, so uh……..read and review this sorry piece of crap before I drop dead and this fic is no more (and we _all_ know what a crying shame _that_ would be…..^_^) and Orlijah, I don't think Lower Eastern Middle earth is Florida ^_^ And Lubb is LOVE!!!!!!!! OK??!?!?! Oh, and everyone, I really do like Gimli! I thought I should clear it up, because you might think it was Gimli bashing……..GIMLI IS COOL! READ AND REVIEW!

They looked at each other, unsure of what to do next. Elves all around them wore different assortments of garments ranging from miniskirts to cashmere sweaters. Celeborn was spotted amongst the Elves, wearing a kilt. They thought it wise to avoid him.

"I'd like to visit Lower Eastern Middle earth Arwen," said Aragorn. He wanted to see what she was like, and how much permanent damage it would cause him if he saw her. At that moment, they were transported to Rivendell because Author wanted to move this fic along more quickly [a/n: sorry?]. So to Rivendell they went. 

"Hm…..We're in Rivendell! I don't remember going past Moria, or Caradhras," said Boromir.

"It doesn't matter! I want to see Arwen!" said Aragorn.

"Whoa, it's Elrond!" said Merry, pointing. Elrond had on a du-rag, some baggy jeans )which sagged to reveal some Tommy Hilfiger boxers), a wifebeater, and numerous silver chains. By now, the Fellowship had gotten used to the scary clothes (Gimli expecially), so they weren't as O_O –ed. Just a bit.

"Put a du-rag on yo' bean head!" he said, taking off his du-rag to reveal a head of cornrowed hair and plopping it on Pippin's head [a/n: for more reference on putting du-rags on bean heads, please read "The Ghetto Fabolous F-Crew" my Orlijah Bloomwood and me, under our username **Estelijah**. READ ALL OF OUR STORIES!!!]. Pippin eagerly tried to tie it, but it was just too hard. Pippin looked unhappy (in a cute way). (And yes, the girl with the glasses and tie and her new bubble wrap bracelets who escaped Lothlorien security now managed to elude Rivendell security, "Awwwwwww-ed," and was caught again. Jeez, not really secure places, are they? Poor girl.)

"Word up, yo! Ah hope ya'll be chi-zillin in Rivendell. Word to yo' mama!" said Elrond.

"Where is Arwen?" said Aragorn.

"She be up in huh' room, listening to some uncruzzunk muzak," said Elrond.

"I see," said Aragorn. He thought Elrond had clearly smoked too much pipeweed. But then, everyone else had also acted quite out of character, so Elrond wasn't too different.

"How'z mah ice?" said Elrond. He was finger the "ice" (one out of many)  that said "E-Dawg".

"Uh…..it's…..OK," said Gimli.

"Yo, at least Ah ain't got no fairy princess chick clothes," said Elrond, defending his precious bling-bling.

Gimli muttered (and made horse noises) under his breath, and started whacking Elrond with his wand.

"Stop dat, li'l midget," said Elrond, pulling the wand away from Gimli and held it above his head.

"Give it back!" said Gimli, hopping up and down. Elrond would just jerk his hand everytime Gimli jumped.

"Hey, that's not nice!!" interfered Author. "Give the wand back to Gimli!"

"No!" said Elrond.

"Ai-ness….Fine," said Author. She temporarily gave super-midget dwarf to Gimli, and temporary grey, rock….ish super powers to a rock. She then made Gimli throw the rock at Elrond's head. Luckily, it hit one of Elrond's cornrow braids and didn't cause too much harm. He did pass out however. Gimli took back his wand. He had becone quite attached to it since it was the reincarnation of his ax.

"Anyway….." said Merry.

"Let's go find Arwen!" said Aragorn. They raced after Aragorn as he ran through the halls and corridors. They came to Arwen's room.

Yeah……no one's reading anymore!!!!! ::screams:: READ THE NEXT CHAPTERS PEOPLE! AND REVIEW!!!!! REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	5. Crazy Arwen Sounds Just Like the Author,...

Hm……..read and review.

The door was closed, but music could be heard blaring loudly. Aragorn opened the door, and there was Arwen, jumping up and down on her bed. She was singing loudly and nodding her head to the music. Her 13 power bead bracelets clanked and she was popping her bubble wrap bracelet as well.

"Lively, isn't she?" whispered Merry to Pippin. When Arwen notices that she had the Fellowship in her bedroom, she fell off the bed.

"Ow," she said, standing up. She had on a t-shirt with a tank top over it with a tie. She wore baggy boy's pants and blue monkey socks. She went and turned down her music a notch.

"Hi!" she said. She walked over to Aragorn and started making out with him. Legolas timed them while the rest gagged. 15.7 minutes later, Arwen pulled away from him.

"So!" she said perkily, and sat on the bed. Aragorn was still in shock and sputtering.

"I….uh…Arwen…..wow," he said. Everyone laughed while Aragorn tried to find his words.

"You really liked that, didn't you?" said Legolas, smirking. Aragorn ignored that. Arwen stood up and jumped on Aragorn's back.

"How's my Ranger man doing?" she said.

"Fine….I suppose," he said.

"Well, isn't that just peachy keen?!" said Arwen, letting go. She was much different than Middle-earth Arwen.

"He was a sk8er boi, she said "See ya l8er boi,"…" she sang along to the CD. Her walls were plastered with pictures of a girl named "Avril Lavigne" and pictures of the Fellowship.

"Eerie," said Pippin.

"Yo, Arwen!" shouted Elrond from downstairs.

"Wut?" said Arwen.

"Go an bah' me sum blang-blang polish!" said Elrond.

"But dad….! Ari and the rest of the 'Ship is here! I need all the make-out time I can get…" she said in a whiny voice and folded her hands.

"That would be nice…" suggested Aragorn.

"Gurl, get'cho azz down hea' now!" Elrond said, with a touch of impatience. 

Arwen screamed and said, "FINE!" She turned to the Fellowship and said, "I have to get some polish for my lazy-ass dad. Hopefully, I'll see ya later! Buh bainess everyone!" She went and started making out with Aragorn again. After she finished, she said, "Come back later to finish what we started…." She winked. The Fellowship had an impression that she meant Aragorn.

"Fapweoizdd…." Said Aragorn. Arwen left.

Yup…..kinda odd…..Arwen sounds strangely like me……hm…..what a conspiracy! ^_^ please review!


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